


Fractures: Side Cracks

by SpaceDimentio



Series: Fractures [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Death, Comfort, Emotional Damage, Emotional Trauma, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Other Mental Health and Depression Stuff, Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond Theory, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Tragedy, suicidal ideations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-08-30 03:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16756993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceDimentio/pseuds/SpaceDimentio
Summary: Summary: Nearly 7000 years of fighting, suffering, friendships, and loss have passed for Pink Diamond, and she has finally won her freedom. Now, it's time for her to help others heal.A series of vignettes portraying a world where the original rebellion lost and the patchwork of emotions the event caused. A sort-of sequel to Fractures; details moments and feelings I didn't cover before.





	1. Breath of Fresh Air

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, welcome to Side Cracks, a collection of oneshots related to my story Fractures. If you're a new reader, you may want to go read that first or you're going to be confused about some things. It's a Pink Diamond-centric story about the rebellion losing, the grievous effects that loss has on her, and what she does to move forward from it. You can find it right here - https://archiveofourown.org/works/16237391/chapters/37958570
> 
> If you're a returning reader, welcome back! Unlike with Fractures, this story is not completely written, so updates will be sporadic. I've got about 30-40 chapters in mind, maybe more if you guys (or the show) give me good ideas. Feel free to make requests for things you wanted to see in the last story that I didn't cover, for minor AUs of this AU, etc. No guarantee that I'll write it, but it will be considered at least :P
> 
> These chapters will all be loosely related to each other with occasional arcs later on. They take place during various parts of the Fractures timeline, though not in chronological order. Because this is a work in progress, edits might occur and things might get shuffled around. I'm not sure what I'll do with whatever new information the show is going to give us soon; I'm not gonna go back and change anything in Fractures.
> 
> There are spoilers for Season 5 up to the most recent episode, "Legs from Here to Homeworld". Warnings are the same as the last story: Major Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts and Ideations, Emotional Damage, Trauma, Self-Harm, and other Mental Health and Depression Stuff. Also some cursing probably.
> 
> This first chapter was requested by Typhoon Boom, based on the scrapped idea of Pink Diamond crying when she sees a plant for the first time in millennia: "I think it'd be great to see her collapse in a field of grass - or flowers - on a far-off planet, and the plethora of emotions that comes with that."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Pink Diamond takes a moment to breathe.

She waited by the window.

The planet was mostly red, with swirls of grey.

She wished it was blue and green and white.

Her fingers played with her dress, trying to quell the bubbling anxiety in her gut. It wasn’t Earth, _nothing_ would ever be Earth. Neither was it a gem colony.

“The scans are finished, My Diamond,” the monochrome zircon at the computer finally reported. “There are numerous signs of organic life on the surface.”

She turned away. “No sentient life?”

“Not as far as I can tell.”

She nodded and smiled tiredly, aware of the dark circles under her eyes. She was glad. “Thank you, Quas. You didn’t have to help with this.”

“Nonsense. I’m more than happy to help, and I know this is important to you,” the zircon replied, her lip curled slightly in a confident smirk. “Do you want to go down?”

She turned back to look, resting a hand on the glass. She breathed in, held it for a moment, let it out.

“Yes.”

* * *

She felt it even before her ship touched the ground. It had been so long, the feeling had become alien. Her throat was held shut by a mix of excitement, apprehension, doubt, and grief.

A light wind blew in as the gangplank lowered, kissing her face and running its fingers through her hair. She couldn’t move for a long moment, paralyzed by such a simple thing; Homeworld’s air was breathless.

The breeze blew a little stronger, carrying with it a bouquet of scents; pleasant and close to what she knew, but foreign all the same. She took it all inside of her, processed it slowly. She waited for the tears to come, but they did not. Not yet.

She proceeded forward, one step at a time, before halting at the edge of the metal. Long strands of carmine grass waved gently in the wind, whispering across the surface of her ship. The sky was the wrong shade of blue, and the bright colors of flowers were dotted everywhere in the flowing, dried-blood sea.

Trembling, she reached out, brushing her soul against the planet’s. All of the plants seemed to still for a second, as if listening.  The pounding, changing, _overwhelming_ tempo of organic life called back, speaking to the light that had been stolen and compacted to form the core of her being.

She walked, the grass rough against her skin. If she had been made of flesh and blood instead of light, it might have cut her, should it touch her in just the right way. She kept walking, stopping only at some unconscious signal.

Behind her, her friends came out, eager to explore this strange world. For many, it was their first experience with organic life. A few stayed close by, needing only her trust to know that they should watch over her. She didn’t hear them.

She sat, deliberate and slow, as if she was some ancient, withered thing, then laid on her back and closed her eyes.

All around her in the dark were living plants, awake but calm. Small bugs flitted to and fro, and a few hotter spots moved quickly in a distant, stone-treed forest. There weren’t many other organisms. Perhaps this planet was just getting its start; it paled in comparison to the sheer variety of Earth.

It was all different. She couldn’t count how many times she had said that different didn’t mean bad. The expression did nothing to quiet the odd pain she felt.

She ached, ached for days long gone and life long since lost. The singular trouble with uniqueness was that it couldn’t be replaced; nothing could completely heal the gashes in her heart.

She breathed in, held, breathed out. She listened to the world in a way that most other gems sadly couldn’t. It was different, and that was okay.

Could this be her new home? _Their_ new home? She worried. There was something slightly unsettling here, something that wouldn’t quite foster the freedom she wanted to give to her gems. Perhaps it was just her own feelings getting in the way.

She shouldn’t worry so much. There was no rush, no reason that they couldn’t explore as long and far as they wanted. This didn’t need to be home.

It was exciting, wasn’t it? Getting to explore a new place for the first time? There were many things to learn and teach, and many moments for fun and relaxation. She opened her eyes, watching wispy clouds pass by overhead.

Extending a hand, she touched a deep-violet flower. The pointed petals were soft, and shifted slightly in response to her. She asked it a question, then carefully plucked it, assured that the plant it belonged to would not be gravely hurt by its absence.

She smiled, and finally, the tears slipped away to water the umber soil. She didn’t move for hours, maybe days, the flower cupped in her palm. She breathed.

A long time ago, in another life, a human child had taught her how to make something special. It had no purpose, no use. It was just for fun.

Sitting up, she looked around, noticing the frolicking of her friends and feeling warmth blossom inside her in response. Gathering together a rainbow of flowers, she began weaving them together amidst braided blades of grass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being a lot calmer than I thought it would. She'll be there a while, she's got lots of flower crowns to make.
> 
> Fun fact, this is the same planet that Pink and Blue have their meetings on later. I described the grass in one of the first drafts of chapter 12 but it ultimately got cut for disrupting the flow of their conversation.


	2. Disillusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Yellow Diamond decommissions the zoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, for clarity's sake I want to specify that these are all canon to the story of Fractures, unless I say otherwise.

She looked past her reflection in the glass, only half-listening to the commotion going on throughout the building. Far below her, those primitive organics milled about, unaware of their impending doom.

Yellow sighed. Every single one of Pink’s gems was being arrested. They had to be interrogated, to weed out any remaining Crystal Gems. She had a feeling that many innocent gems were going to be shattered, regardless of how thorough she might be.

This was a mess. She still had trouble believing it; the lengths that Pink had gone to in order to fool them were ridiculous.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, watching the human beings closely. What had Pink ever seen in them? They were a disgusting facsimile of gems; they had the same body type, but were weak and useless and purposeless. What did she see in that planet and its organics that they didn’t? What did she see that could have caused her to go so completely off the rails?

She found herself asking a lot of answerless questions lately. The world didn’t seem to be as solid as it had once been; it was as if it had tilted slightly, just enough to unbalance her. She had been completely blindsided, never once imagining that one of the very few people close to her would lie to her like this.

A feather of anger flared in her chest, followed by a pang of grief, and confusion, and fear. Nothing she did helped to ease the endless circling of her worthless feelings.

In a few weeks, her little sister was going to be unbubbled, only to find that she’d lost everything. Blue had been unable to convince White to spare a few gems, and Yellow had been equally unsuccessful.

She itched to do something, to save just a little piece. She could smuggle away some humans, but where would she keep them? This entire station was built for the sole purpose of caring for them; it wouldn’t be worth the trouble of building a second zoo. Not to mention, if White found her hiding something, defying her order to get rid of everything…

Her breath caught in her throat for a moment before passing easily again. She shook her head. It was better this way; Pink wouldn’t learn her lesson otherwise.

The memory of White telling her that Pink would be let out to watch the event caused a tremor to run over her skin.

…

Pink had pled to save the life on Earth, and Blue had given her this zoo. She stopped asking after that; they thought she was happy with it, but after a while, Pink’s visits had grown infrequent. Now Yellow wondered if she had even wanted this facility in the first place. Maybe she had decided it wasn’t enough for her, as nothing seemed to be.

She remembered all the times Pink had called, complaining about this or that, and whining about how it was all too hard and too costly. Only now was it apparent that she had been trying to talk them into leaving.

She just… She just didn’t understand! Pink had been so _excited_ about getting a colony! The three of them had spent many days designing it together, and when they were done, Pink had leapt up and wrapped her arms around their necks and kissed the tips of their noses and uttered an endless stream of high-pitched ‘thank you’s. She had been so determined to do it right, in her own style. So why…

Why had her excitement faded? What happened that changed her, that mixed up her priorities and made her choose organic life and defective rebels over her own purpose, her own family?

How could she have _possibly_ expected this to end? They were never going to abandon such a resource-rich planet. It could have only ended in a Crystal Gem loss, yet she had dragged it on for as long as possible and made them lose far too many good gems in the process.

Yellow tried not to think about what Pink had done to achieve that. Tried not to think about the things she must have done, the sabotage. Tried not to think about her taking their plans and purposefully poking as many holes in them as she could.

Her hands clenched unconsciously. She tried and failed not to think about the possibility of Pink luring them into a trap, shattering her own sisters under the guise of someone else.

The thought was severed by a booming crunch. The startled organics below paused, but the glass didn’t break.

Yellow retracted her fist. A yellow agate chose that moment to enter, tactfully ignoring the cracked glass and the way the air was laden with static. She saluted and bowed. “All of Pink Diamond’s gems have been apprehended, My Lustrous, Luminous Diamond.”

She couldn’t, not here. She could not appear weak for even one second.

“…Good.” She swallowed down the heavy tightness in her chest, pushed it away and stored it in the dark recesses of her mind. “Make sure they are all sent back to Homeworld for interrogation. As for the organics…” She glanced past the glass. “…Terminate them all.”

“Yes, My Diamond.” The agate saluted, then left.

Yellow watched a moment longer, silently bidding the distasteful creatures goodbye before moving on to her next task.

* * *

The room was awash with pink light. The massive door hissed shut behind her as she stepped inside, leaving her alone in the privacy of Pink’s personal chambers. Nearly a thousand rose quartzes floated in bubbles all around her.

Yellow frowned, sighing. A familiar wave of hatred washed over her, quickly dissipating in light of the fact that Rose Quartz had not been a rose quartz at all. These gems were innocent; they probably weren’t even defective. It was only fair that they be freed and given a chance to fulfill their purpose.

She took hold of a bubble and carefully popped it, setting the gem down on the ground. She waited.

Nothing happened.

Her brow furrowed. This gem had been bubbled for centuries; that should have been more than enough time to recuperate. The quartz should have reformed the second she was released.

She opened a second bubble and put the gem next to the first. Once again, nothing happened.

A chill crept up her spine. She let out a third rose quartz, then a fourth, then a fifth.

Everything went still, the air growing heavy and oppressive as all of them failed to glow.

Mechanically, she began to pop the bubbles one at a time, letting the gems inside fall uncared for to the floor. Some of them cracked.

The world faded away as she worked. She felt cold, and nothing else. Her body seemed to move without her as she picked up the pace, releasing them in bunches. Finally, all of the bubbles were gone, and she stood there, waiting.

Not one single gem woke up.

She stared at them, desperately willed them to form, because if they didn’t, it meant…

…They were fake.

They were _all. fake_.

…Pink had bubbled them herself.

…How could she have taken the time and effort to create them, there were so many…!

She would have had to do so much! She… She would have had to falsify records, fool peridots, pretend there was an entire kindergarten that didn’t actually exist! All for the sake of her fabricated identity!

How could she have…

How could she have done this to them!

How could she have lied to them, baited them into playing the most foolish of her games yet!

Her vision blurred. 

Electricity arced through the air, crashing into the ground, the ceiling, the lifeless gems all around her. She moved, a living storm of violence. Pillars cracked and fell; the floor buckled. The crunch of gems beneath her feet did not reach her, nor did her furious screaming.

How could she have!

How could she have…

Drained of everything, Yellow fell to her knees, staring at her hands. Pink’s bed was on fire, and she could hear the quiet hiss of the artificial atmosphere escaping through a tiny breach in the window; it seemed to suck away her breath.

Pink dust drifted through the air, glittered on her clothes. The rose quartzes were nothing but shards, now.

They should have shattered the little runt when they had the chance. They should have done it when she proved to be less than a diamond should be, but by that time they had already come to love her. They… They loved her, and she turned around and _did_ _this_ to them?

How could she…

‘ _Does she hate us? Does she hate_ me _?_ ’

She couldn’t breathe past the vice clamping down on her heart. She wanted to fight, wanted to hate, but all she could see was Pink’s smiling face.

It was _her_ fault. It was all her fault, for not being there for her. For not paying more attention to her, for not listening.

It was _her_ responsibility to guide Pink, and she had failed. Failed to teach her, failed to steer her in the right direction, failed to notice when irrational, corrupting notions were worming their way into her head.

Yellow tried to swallow. What could she do now?

What could she do to make it better?

The Earth was hers now, the Crystal Gems were soon to be shattered, and something inside her felt inclined to tear this zoo apart piece by piece with her bare hands. White was not to be defied.

A tear escaped and fell to the floor, sparkling in the dust.

She didn’t know what was going to happen. She didn’t know what Pink was going to do after being released.

…She had to work harder. She had to correct her mistakes, _their_ mistakes, and be there for her. She couldn’t let Pink fail again.

She finally noticed she was crying and hurriedly wiped at her eyes. She was wasting time here.

Yellow got to her feet slowly, brushing off the dust. She straightened her back, held her head high, forced her expression to be impassive.

She left the room, folding her hands behind her back to hide their shaking. She ignored the stares of frightened gems, pretending that nothing had happened, that the room she’d just been in wasn’t half-destroyed.

She focused her thoughts on the work ahead, swallowed her pain, and showed only certainty and poise.

Just as she always did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm like, 80% sure there's no such thing as a real rose quartz and Pink just made them up. She was pretending to be an amethyst when she went down to the kindergarten, and I don't think she'd create an entire gem type just to bubble them. I think she made them all the same way she made her fake shards.
> 
> If White is the kind of person she appears to be, then I am also sure that she fucked Yellow up pretty badly, emotionally. Yellow seems like a person with a lot of deeply-buried anxiety.


	3. Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Blue Diamond receives a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This next one was requested by cat4139 – "In chapter 12, when Blue and Pink start talking about Yellow, Pink says 'You fell all over yourself when I called you.' I would love it if you could make a drabble on when Pink first calls Blue! I really love their relationship!"

**Log date 16838 82 43 22:17**

Message to: Pink Diamond

From: Blue Diamond

Subject: [No Subject]

_Please come home soon. There’s much to be done._

* * *

The room was quiet with the hum of distant machinery. Her pearl stood silently by her throne, and past her screens, past all the reports and ever-building demands for her attention, the endless void of space loomed. The beauty and wonder of it had been lost to her long ago.

The ship floated aimlessly, its fingers limp. She had no destination, no goal.

Somewhere out there was Pink.

Blue tried to keep her gaze fixed on her work, but her eyes kept looking out to the stars. It had been only a couple decades since Pink left; those years blurred with the millennia of suffering that had come before them. At least now, she knew Pink would never be locked up and left alone again.

She had tried to follow, had wanted to bring her back and talk some sense into her, but Pink had made every effort to avoid her. So Blue watched from a distance, watched her make trips to their numerous colonies, all the while skirting around the Earth. She didn’t interfere, even when Pink stole things or troubled the resident gems. It was better to let her do as she wanted.

It was there, in the corner of the window; the planet that had caused them so much grief. It was gray, nearly cracked through. Yellow had abandoned it as soon as all of its resources had been harvested.

Blue tried to remember what it had looked like before and couldn’t.

Her pearl shifted her weight, creating an unobtrusive rustle of fabric. It was her way of reminding her that she had work to do. Blue looked at the tiny gem for a moment, trying to give a soft smile. The pearl turned her head slightly, her long silky bangs hiding her eyes as she stood at attention. Blue sighed, pulling the screens closer.

Letters and numbers flowed through her mind without being understood; her fingers made clumsy typos. Once again, her eyes were drawn to the Earth, and her thoughts to Pink.

With a frustrated huff, she closed out the screens and stared at the barren rock. She wondered and wondered and wondered, always thinking of Pink, never knowing why or how she had come to choose such a strange, irrational, illicit life.

She was aware of her pearl’s disapproval. The urge to talk to the only other gem in the room surfaced. Questions danced on her tongue, begging to be let out. She did nothing; there were no answers. A mere pearl would not know or understand. She could not even ask Yellow, who had no answers either. No one knew but Pink, and she held her silence.

On a whim, Blue opened a new message window. She wanted to pour out her feelings, let her thoughts free. Perhaps she should; perhaps she should send it to Pink alongside the others. Doubt halted her; would Pink even care? What if she bared her soul, begged and pleaded, and still got no response? She felt so very tired.

She typed something quickly, then sent it.

The pressure only increased.

* * *

**Log date 16964 35 20 16:47**

Message to: Pink Diamond

From: Blue Diamond

Subject: [No Subject]

_Please come back. We need you. We can’t do this by ourselves._

* * *

Hushed, excited voices filled the kindergarten. Blue’s palanquin crawled forward at a leisurely pace. The diamond inside was supposed to be inspecting her surroundings and listening carefully to passing conversation, to find out if things were running as they were supposed to. Instead, she simply sat, staring through the small part in the curtains and waiting to arrive at her destination.

This colony had just been started a few centuries before White was shattered. Gems were beginning to emerge, and it was always important for them to see their diamond at least once. Blue tried not to think of what would happen when White failed to capture another planet; there wasn’t enough time to manage a new colony when they were struggling to do all of her work as it was.

The palanquin halted, and her pearl went outside, checking for danger and announcing her presence. Blue slowly got to her feet, feeling as if a great weight rested on her form. She drew her hood closer around her head, making it harder to see the drawn lines on her face. She stepped outside, standing tall though her shoulders wanted to slump.

A line of ten newly-formed lapis lazulis stood before her. A few saluted, while others were not as quick to catch on. They cowered, barely hiding their fear.

She peered at them closely, her mind switching gears with the reminder that she was powerful and awe-inspiring. She examined every part of them, had them turn around, searched their gems for imperfections. All were as they should be, within acceptable parameters.

All except the third lapis lazuli from the right.

The teardrop-shaped gem situated on her right shoulder was flecked with gold bands. The flaw showed on her form as splashes of yellow freckles on her bare skin. The lapis shifted, her face filled with terror.

Blue smoothly reached out and dissipated her, palming the gemstone. A lapis with imperfections like that would hardly be able to lift a small lake, let alone perform the terraforming required of her. She calmly gave her speech to the remaining lazulis, informing them of their purpose and inspiring them to take pride in it. She returned to her palanquin soon after, commanding the morganite in charge to give the new gems their assignments.

In the privacy of the palanquin, Blue looked at the gemstone, running a careful finger over the gold bands. She should shatter her and send her shards away to be used. Her hand closed, but she didn’t squeeze.

She knew Pink would have found nothing wrong with the lapis lazuli. She would have thought that the markings were beautiful, would have found something else for the gem to do if her powers were lacking. Off-color didn’t seem to be a term of importance to Pink.

A pale cerulean bubble formed around the gemstone. She passed the bubble down to her pearl to hold, ignoring the curious tilt of her head. She watched out of the corner of her eye as the pearl inspected the gemstone, gently turning the bubble this way and that. A small, fond smile tugged at her lips.

* * *

**Log date 17057 97 56 00:52**

Message to: Pink Diamond

From: Blue Diamond

Subject: [No Subject]

 _We miss you._ I _miss you. I just want to see you again._

* * *

She laid in bed, her eyes open. She didn’t want to sleep, didn’t want to dream. She knew her pearl stood dutifully on the other side of the door, waiting to wake her in two hours time. Sooner, if she had a nightmare.

She knew she should get up; she was selfish for taking a break in the first place. She didn’t move, unable to muster up the energy.

There was too much. There was simply too much.

She had once thought that White had it easy, that her and Yellow did the real grunt work. White’s sheer presence had seemed to scare away the notion that you could ask her for anything. Now, the messages piled up, the façade that she was still around slowly crumbling.

Guilt weighed heavily on her. The extra work should have been divided evenly between the two of them, but as always, Yellow was doing more, wanting to give Blue room to wallow in her feelings.

It was hard to act like nothing had happened. They had yet to reassign White’s gems to their courts; doing so would be admitting that the supreme ruler of Homeworld had fallen. The temptation to shatter everyone who dared question them about White was there. 

Instead, they dodged the questions, asserting their presence as strongly as they could, trying to keep things in order. It was like she had told Pink so long ago; just smile and wave, pretend everything was fine, and things would fall into place.

Blue wished Pink would come back. Blue wished she would take up some of the burden, enough for them to stand without a crushing weight on their shoulders, but she knew Pink had sworn never to step foot on Homeworld again.

She remembered the way Pink’s aura had washed over her, blazing so fiercely that it had forced her to her knees. It had been an overwhelming surge of hate, and pain, and grief, with love under it all, so sharp and biting that it had taken away her breath.

She remembered days long gone, where she had patiently tried to teach Pink how to use her aura, how to control her emotions and use them against her enemies. Pink had never gotten the hang of it, not until that day in White Diamond’s throne room. Blue had never wanted her to learn that way, had never wanted her to feel such awful things.

 _“Someday, I hope you’ll understand exactly what you took from me,”_ she had said, so small with her wild curls of hair and cold determination on her face. There had never been a diamond so terrible as the one who promised to destroy her sisters, should they interfere.

Blue was afraid, knowing that Pink wouldn’t hesitate to follow through. She had seen the promise glinting in her sister’s mismatched eyes. Blue didn’t think she would ever see her again.

As always, her thoughts turned in helpless circles. She never stopped thinking of Pink. She never stopped wondering what they could have done, how they could have prevented this. She wanted nothing more than to understand.

As always, there were no answers.

Her pearl stepped into the room. She despaired; two hours gone already?

She tried to move, shifted to get up. After a moment, her pearl delicately took one of her fingers in her petite hands, not pulling so much as encouraging.

Blue finally managed to stand, trudging toward her control room with her pearl following after her. Mountains of work awaited her, made all the larger by her restless break.

* * *

**Log date 17158 83 19 09:34**

Message to: Pink Diamond

From: Blue Diamond

Subject: [No Subject]

_Please talk to me. Please._

* * *

**Log date 17193 74 40 19:27**

Message to: Blue Diamond

From: Yellow Diamond

Subject: 172nd Centennial Ball

_Blue, we need to start planning for the next centennial ball. The last one was a complete disaster; we need to do better this time if we’re to divert suspicion. Our gems need a good boost to their morale._

_Meet me next week on Rama 3, we’ll be holding it there. I’ve already drawn up plans but I need you to organize the entertainment._

* * *

Blue waited patiently for Yellow to arrive, fond thoughts warming her chest. It was so hard these days to find time to see each other; she hoped to talk about more than the upcoming ball.

She didn’t have long to wait; Yellow was as punctual as always. Blue held herself together through the exchange of formal greetings, until finally, all other gems besides their pearls were dismissed, and they could be alone.

Blue stepped closer, and Yellow met her gaze. Blue pressed her cheek against the side of Yellow’s neck, sighing as strong arms wrapped securely around her. They both relished the contact, and the closeness of the gemstones resting in their chests.

They parted after a long moment, and spent a moment more just looking at one another. Yellow moved first, sitting in her throne and pulling up her plans for the centennial ball. Blue stood to the side, looking over her shoulder.

The plans seemed sound. It had been hard to come up with ideas for the entertainment when it felt as if there was nothing to celebrate, but she had managed. A few minor tweaks, and it was done within the hour. They fell silent, sending off commands and commissions to all the necessary gems.

When Yellow stood to leave, Blue hastily caught her by the arm. “Yellow, wait! You’re going already?”

Yellow looked at her sternly. “I have work to do, Blue. I can’t stay.”

“Please? Just rest for a little while,” Blue pled, knowing she looked pitiful.

Yellow tsked, her lip curling. She pulled away from Blue’s grasp. “No, Blue. I can’t afford to take breaks.”

The unspoken words cut into her; _neither can you_.

Blue turned away, dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve. Her cheek was captured by a hand; Yellow gently tilted her face towards her.

“This is Pink’s fault,” she said, anger glimmering in her golden eyes. “None of this would have happened if she had just behaved.”

“Is it?” Blue whispered, pressing her fingers over Yellow’s. “I think it’s our fault, too…”

“There’s nothing we can do about it now.” Yellow lowered her hand, twining their fingers together. “Pink is…different. Perhaps we would have broken her if we’d forced her to change.”

Blue nodded, leaning into Yellow once more. “I can never stop thinking about her… I try to call, I message her, but she never responds.”

“Maybe you should stop trying and leave her alone, then.” She rested her chin on the top of Blue’s head.

“I just want to know if she’s happy, Yellow… I want to know she’s okay…”

Yellow agreed silently, placing a soft kiss to Blue’s hair. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Yellow pulled away again. “I really do have to go, Blue…”

“I know…” She lowered her gaze, then looked up again. “One more thing?”

Yellow rolled her eyes and smiled a little. “What?”

“Pearl, come here.” Her pearl stepped forward. “Show her.”

The pearl bowed and removed a few bubbled gems from her gemstone; a bismuth with rounded corners, a lapis lazuli flecked with gold, an agate with the wrong cut.

Yellow’s brow furrowed. “They’re defective. Why are they still intact?”

“I had an idea…” Blue hesitated, almost shy. “I wanted to give them to Pink…if we ever see her again.”

“Blue…”

“You know she would want them, Yellow… I don’t know why.” She shook her head, chuckling bitterly. “She always sees things that we don’t.”

Yellow sighed, using her thumb to wipe away an escaping tear from Blue’s face. “So what do you want me to do?”

She smiled warmly. “Save them for her, any off-colors you find. They’ll be a gift.”

“…Very well. I’ll send them to you.”

“Thank you.” Blue captured Yellow’s hand, kissing the back of it in gratitude. “I’ll tell her they’re from you, too.”

Yellow’s expression faltered before growing fond. Then it fell again. “I have to go. I was supposed to be on Omia Prime by now.”

Their hands came apart, lingering. Yellow looked back over her shoulder, her pearl trailing at her feet. “Goodbye, Blue.”

“Goodbye...” Blue watched her disappear through the doorway, alone with the weight of everything once more.

* * *

**Log date 17302 67 34 12:02**

Message to: Pink Diamond

From: Blue Diamond

Subject: [No Subject]

_I’m sorry._

* * *

She was organizing her messages when the call came.

She answered it without looking, assuming it was Yellow and keeping her eyes on her reports in an effort to look busy.

“…Blue?” called a warm, resonant voice. A voice she had not heard in centuries.

Blue gasped, realizing the window was pink, not yellow.

And there she was. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the jagged lines cutting across her face; a stark reminder of how things had changed.

“P-Pink!” Blue hurriedly slammed her hand down on the arm of her throne, turning off the other screens and causing the window to flicker. She abruptly got to her feet, as if she could leap through the transmission to embrace her sister.

Pink’s expression held amusement, though she was stiff and half-turned away. For a brief second, Blue was afraid she had called on accident.

“I’m ready to talk…” Pink said softly.

“Please, whatever you want!” Blue leaned closer, a note of pleading in her voice.

The corner of the young diamond’s lips rose for a moment. “Easy, Blue. I want to meet in person, alright? Just the two of us. I’ll send you the coordinates and the date.” She looked to the side, typing something.

Blue pulled up a screen, seeing a new message pop into her inbox. She didn’t recognize the planet; it was outside of gem-controlled territory. “Thank you, Pink… Thank you.”

Pink nodded. There were lines under her eyes, her gaze cautious. “I’ll see you there.” She hung up.

Blue slumped back into her throne; it was almost like Pink had slipped through her fingers, like she had only been a daydream. Nevertheless, relief washed through her, leaving her shaking.

She had never dared to truly hope; always, in her dreams, Pink scorned her, her scathing voice trilling out that she was useless and stupid and weak. She sent off an excited message to Yellow, anxiety waxing within her.

“Get them ready,” she told her pearl.

The pearl met her with a bright smile, nodding. “Yes, My Diamond.”

Blue couldn’t help but smile too. There was a lot to be done in preparation of their meeting. Right now, nothing else was so important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody knows how Peridot's log dates work for sure, so I just put random numbers pretty much; the strings of 5 numbers are intended to be the year. Those are far from all the messages Blue sent over the years.
> 
> I can't ever seem to stick solely to the prompt, can I. I said it had "great potential for humor" and it wasn't funny at all :'D. When I sat down and thought through the actual scenario, I realized that their conversation would have to be short and serious; their first real conversation happens at their meeting. Oh well.
> 
> I hope you guys have a good holiday, and don't forget that there's gonna be a new episode tomorrow!


	4. Etiam Hic Sumus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Bismuth survives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for cellum95, who wanted to know how Bismuth and friends made it through the end of the war and the colonization. Fair warning, this is not a happy chapter. There's not one bit of happy.

 

The end of it all came swiftly, brutally. Yellow Diamond’s words meant nothing to her, not at first. She was focused, co-leading the charge against the enemy ranks while avoiding the diamond’s destructive wrath.

But she noticed when Rose and Pearl both stiffened, stopping in their tracks. Garnet was knocked back by the swing of an ax, falling apart before she touched the grass. Ice sprang up around them, and Ruby clutched urgently at Sapphire’s arm, begging her to tell her what was wrong.

The ax-wielding jasper lunged at Ruby and Sapphire; Bismuth blocked her, turning her hands to blades. She ducked under the next attack and produced a sparkling orange cloud with one swipe.

Rose and Pearl were staring at each other; Bismuth had never seen them look so terrified. “Stay,” Rose commanded grimly, tightening her grip on her sword and dashing off before anyone could stop her.

Pearl started to follow, but Bismuth grabbed her wrist. “You’ll be shattered!” she said, because Rose was going directly towards Yellow Diamond.

Pearl shook her head, trying to pull away. “Let me go! I have to help her!”

“No, Pearl.” Bismuth held her tighter, locking her arms around her. If she let go, Pearl would throw herself in front of Rose, just like she always did. She looked at the frozen seer, staying close by and guarding her.

Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong.

The fighting seemed to stop as the two leaders met; all eyes fell on them. Yellow Diamond struck without hesitation, and Rose used her shield to block the devastating aura attacks.

She should move, she should help. In her arms, Pearl struggled to break free.

Yellow Diamond kept pressing relentlessly, her lightning destroying everything around her. Rose’s sword was knocked away, and Bismuth gasped when it was crushed under a massive boot. Rose kept on the defensive, trying to attack with her fists alone, but she wasn’t fast enough to block the diamond’s final strike.

Everything fell apart when Rose’s gem hit the ground.

Bismuth hardly felt it when Pearl kicked her and slipped out of her grasp. From somewhere far away, she saw Yellow Diamond bend down to bubble the pink diamond, saw Pearl try to stab her hand, saw the thin gem get captured, dissipated, and taken away.

An arrow whistled past her, grazing her shoulder and bringing her to her senses. It didn’t matter right now. _Nothing_ mattered right now. Yellow Diamond’s army marched forward, slaughtering everything in their path.

“Everyone snap out it!” the blacksmith called, watching with despair as, all across the battlefield, fusions split and puffs of colored dust rose. She held her ground, trying to rally, trying to stop the rush of desperate Crystal Gems fleeing past her. Electric bolts rained down around her, evaporating anyone they touched.

Sapphire began to sob.

Rage prickling at her, she realized it was futile. She broke the ice at Sapphire’s feet and tucked her under one arm, turning to retreat. “C’mon, Ruby! We have to go!”

Ruby had gone silent, her mouth open and her eyes fixated on the spot where Rose’s gem had been. Sapphire cried out, and a moment later, Bismuth saw why. An immense tri-onyx fusion swung her flail at them, and while Bismuth moved, Ruby didn’t.

There was the awful noise of splintering stone. A swing of her shape-shifted arm sliced the fusion in two, and the onyxes were swiftly turned into three black rocks lying in the dirt. Furious, she produced three more air-splitting cracks.

Weeping, Bismuth fell to her knees, Sapphire’s ice so cold that it burned her skin. “No…” she whispered. “No no no, Ruby no!”

Beside her, Sapphire crumpled, gently cupping the remains of her partner in her hands.

“Oh Sapph, I’m so sorry…” She placed a hand on the seer’s shoulder.

The ground shook with explosions. Sapphire looked up at her, indescribable devastation in her eye. “You have to go now.”

“What? I’m not gonna-”

“Just leave me here and go!” Sapphire screamed, clutching the red shards to her chest.

Tears left twin tracks, cutting through the dirt on her face. Bismuth shook her head, knowing that if Ruby was gone, Sapphire was too. She embraced the little gem one last time before darting off into chaos.

When she looked back, Sapphire sat alone, dust and dark shapes drifting around her.

* * *

The world was on fire. She wanted to fight, but there was no point anymore. Rose was Pink Diamond, and everyone was gone. She ran.

Yellow Diamond took complete control of the warp network. Her gems flooded the Earth, tearing down everything, searching in every hole. Plants burned and organics bled.

Nowhere was safe. She kept running.

By chance, she stumbled upon a small group of her friends, kept safe by a mottled brown jasper. The seven of them ran together, fighting off attackers, searching for a place where they couldn’t be found.

A lilac spinel sat on a tree stump, her blood-coated morning star lying in the grass beside her. Nearby, a human village burned. She was crying, horrified, and so she went with them.

Tiger’s Eye and Serpentine were captured. They gave everything to rescue them and failed.

Days turned to nights turned to days. A jade found them, but took pity on them. She helped them creep away, hiding them at the bottom of the ocean until the lapises came to drain it.

They took over a black-star diopside’s guard post, forcing her to falsify reports on their location until she eventually grew to like them and did it herself.

The stars bled in the night sky. Together, they survived.

* * *

The Crystal Gems were holed up in a cave, knowing that the observation orbs couldn’t see them there. Outside, grey dust swirled in the wind, and the last few withering plants reached feebly towards the sky.

Bismuth sat alone in a dark corner, her legs folded to her chest. She could hear Crazy Lace nearby, passing the time with stories. The new gems were curious, wondering what the Crystal Gems had fought for. Even now, after everything, the agate still spoke highly of Rose.

The blacksmith’s jaw clenched. She was _fine_. She’d been _fine_ for a while now. She didn’t want to think about that day, but it dwelt in her mind like some crawling, mutilated beast.

Her fist cracked the ground, silencing the voices for a moment. Biggs came around the corner, taking a seat beside her.

“How can she sit there and keep telling her lies?” Bismuth growled, wiping at her eyes.

“I dunno, Biz.” The jasper shrugged. “How much of it do you think was fake?”

“Every word.”

“It felt real…” Biggs scooted closer until she was inches away. “What if everything else was the truth except her identity? I mean, it kind of makes sense why she didn’t want anyone to know.”

Bismuth’s fingers dug into the stone. “Why didn’t she tell us, Biggs? We were just pawns to her, and now everything is…”

“I know…”

“I’ll never forgive her!” Bismuth cried out, her shoulders shaking with grief. “If I ever see her again, I’ll tear her to pieces!”

Biggs just shook her head. “I know…” She gently pulled the blacksmith to her, cradling her head against her chest. “Let it all out, Biz…”

“H-How could she do this to us!” Bismuth sobbed, clinging tightly to one of the few things she had left. Biggs patiently rubbed her back, resting her chin in rainbow hair.

The sun rose, and the planet died just a little more.


End file.
